I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
