if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
