Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
