Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
