I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Randomize
