there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
