She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
