Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Every concussion has its silver lining
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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