I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
