I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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