loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
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