Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
