I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
