I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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