who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
