remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
