it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
