I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize