Don't you send me to vm
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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