You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
