worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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