I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
