Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
