We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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