summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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