Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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