He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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