Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
