just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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