I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
