whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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