it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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