my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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