I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
