as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
