I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
