Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
