i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
