I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
