all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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