i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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