my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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