That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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