If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Randomize
