Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
