Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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