it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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