I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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