yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
