I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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