i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize