how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
