Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
