I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
