whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
