The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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