I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Fuck appropriateness.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
