She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
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Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
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Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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