He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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